Money Only Adds to the FUN

On my IE favorites bar there is a folder labled Finances. In this folder are links to my two banks, various bills that can be paid online, and a couple of automatic transfers that I include so I don’t forget about them. Each of these links have a due date next to them, or paid. One of them says “paid off”, which I am really happy about but keep an eye on just in case some weird thing happens.

Generally I avoid looking at the finances folder because it causes a big knot of anxiety to form in my stomach, mainly because I have no money to pay the stuff that was due at the beginning of the month. We’ve got a couple of late fees, easy enough to deal with but I hate having to continue to put stuff off because we don’t have the money.

My missing tax information was taken care of and mailed on Friday. It will probably be processed sometime this week but who knows how long it’ll take to actually get the money. They say 6 – 8 weeks, but I’m hoping it’s sooner. I’ve submitted my GI Bill verification already, I usually do it at 12:01AM on the earliest day I can, so hopefully that will be showing up in time to pay rent.

Sometimes I worry that when we do get out from underneath these bills, I’ll have so little stress I won’t know what to do with myself. Soon, I keep telling myself. Soon. Soon the medical bills will be almost all paid off. Soon we will be under 10 grand on the truck. Soon all we will need to worry about is rent and utilities and I’ll be able to go grocery shopping for the good stuff instead of relying on mac & cheese and tuna and chicken in bulk.

I did make some killer crockpot BBQ chicken last night though, it’s fab as a sandwich with muenster cheese.

I have a lot of big plans. I have ideas about how to handle the budget so that we’re not living paycheck to paycheck, about how to handle the groceries so we’re not scrounging at the end of the week, about how to organize myself so that I’m not going crazy at the end of a school term. I don’t know that I’ll ever manage to put these plans in action, but I’m going to try.

That or I’ll just keep going crazy.



I was reading a blog today over at Okay, Fine, Dammit, and it got me thinking.

My thoughts went something along the lines of “I should post on my blog more” to “I should really get with Hottie and launch our joint blog” to “I don’t have time for that stuff right now, I’m busy with school” to “No one wants to read my bullshit anyway” to “Yeah, why write if no one cares? I don’t need a diary, I already know what I do every day” to “Just write something, already!” to “Fuck you, I’m not writing anything until I’m done with this term!”

Then my inner voices got into an animated fight complete with dust clouds and random limbs sticking out with “#@%$&!” popping out here and there.

Then I ate half a bag of Pepperidge Farm Chocolate Chunk Brownie cookies and I felt better.