It’s 5 am. Do you know where your brain is?

I should have taken a Lunesta around 10 PM. Then I might not be in this mess, which is to say, awake at 5 AM with my son blissfully crashed out in the next room, recharging his batteries for 9 AM. Undoubtedly, I will be regretting this course of action at approximately 9:05 AM.

Insomnia will always get the better of me, I think. Lunesta leaves me feeling off the next day. I can’t take Restoril, not because it doesn’t work, but because I enjoy the high too much before it knocks me out. It’s the same reason I didn’t ask for a refill on my oxycodone or tylenol with codine from the dentist, despite the fact that I now have to pop ibuprofen like candy to take the edge off the pain.

Did I mention my $5409 tax return was delayed? It’s likely this is now a prominent reason why I’m unable to sleep at this time. Fortunately, Mr. Hottie gets paid in 3 days so the zero in our bank account won’t be there much longer. Again, I’m just grateful it’s not a negative number. I can handle having to live off of the change out of the theoretical seat cushions (we don’t own a couch) but when it goes in the red, that’s a different story. I’m anxious because I don’t know what’s missing. I don’t know what I missed when I dutifully entered in our W-2s and 1098-Ts into the electronic tax boxes. I don’t know where I made the mistake. It’s probably something to do with my tuition, but until I get the letter of explanation, all I’ve got is suppositions at 5 am.

My school term is up at the end of April. I still have a statistics class to go through, as well as a java class and natural science. There’s a science project involved with that. I had 6 months to do these things. Why do I continue to procrastinate to the last minute when I know -know- that it’s not a good idea? It’s like I have to put myself in this kind of stress because I don’t work out of the home so I have no other stress in my life. Is there a word for that? For consciously -making- stressful situations?

I don’t know, but it’s damn annoying.

Another thing that’s annoying is the way that WordPress keeps moving the focus of this block of text back to the beginning of the post if I’m not actively typing. I pause for a split second to gather my thoughts and woosh, it’s back up at the top. Annoying.

Ah well. I guess I’ll play Peggle until my brain rebels and I decide that an hour nap is better than no nap at all when faced with a supercharged two-year-old.

Oh yeah, and I have to go back to the doctor today to get a halter that will record my heart for the next 24 hours. Awesome. Maybe I can finally pin down that irregular heartbeat that happens every time I lay down to go to bed. YAY more stress.

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