You go, girl!

Lately there’s been quite a few bloggers who have admitted being alcoholics. I’ve often nodded and thought “good for them”, but I didn’t really feel a connection because so far, none of them have been folks I read. I say so far, because today, a wonderful woman whom I DO read took an extraordinarily brave step, and I wanted to say I am SO damn proud of her.

My own experience with alcohol has always felt like I was dancing on the edge of a cliff. When I lived in San Diego, California, I was about 5 blocks from an On The Border, which, aside from having some really smashing fajitas, had a cantina.

I found myself stopping by there Friday nights after work, to hang out and have a couple drinks. Then I started going two days a week, then three, then four. Then I started stopping by there on my way home, ordering three very strong shots, slamming them down, and then jumping in my truck to drive the 5 blocks home before the alcohol hit me. I would have blackouts. I would be fall-down drunk and pass out, but I didn’t think I had a problem because I never had a hangover.

I knew exactly how much I could drink and still be able to drive the short distance home. I never swerved, never put anyone in danger, and I felt like I was in control because I WOULD leave my truck there and walk home when I knew I had too much.

Was I an alcoholic? I don’t know. I think I could be, given the chance again. I’m very careful about drinking when my husband and I go out to dinner. I have a beer or two once in a blue moon, but quite honestly, the only thing that is keeping me from the shots is how expensive they are. We planned on getting some booze here in the house to stock a minibar kind of thing, and although I was nodding and going “yeah, great idea” I was really thinking “I can’t do that. I’ll drink it all.”

If I had not met my husband, I probably would still be drinking 3-4 times a day.

Would I have been able to announce to the world my addiction, like Maggie did? I don’t know. She amazes me constantly, and her announcement only makes me love her even more.

Maggie, you’re the bomb. You are an inspiration, and I wish I could write as eloquently as you do. Keep it up.

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One Eighty Two

Disclaimer: Denise Austin has no idea who I am, and probably could care less that I’m talking about her book on my blog. I certainly haven’t been paid for it.

When the New Year rolled around, I weighed 200 pounds. I’m 5’3″. It was the heaviest I’d ever been in my life, and I didn’t like it. My husband told me I was still sexy, that I wasn’t fat (bless his heart, I was 125 and a size 8 or so when we met), but I was. I could feel it in the way my knees would scream every time I went up and down stairs. I could feel it in the way it was hard to breath when I bent over to put on my shoes… oh, and the fact that I had to sit down to put on my shoes. It was evident in the pantry and fridge. We just weren’t eating the way I wanted. We weren’t eating -healthy-, and I was tired of it.

I read a lot of magazines, and in one of the magazines I read about a new diet plan. Only it wasn’t really a “you can’t eat this” kind of diet, it was a “change the way you eat” kind of diet. Exactly what I was looking for. It’s kind of like Weight Watchers, but without the stupid point counting. Weight Watchers always made me think “Oh, I get 20 points? I’ll just eat 20 of those little 1-point brownie things”.

Anyway, this plan, by Denise Austin, is called Denise’s Daily Dozen. It is, in a word, EASY. It’s an utter no-brainer. Follow her plan, you will lose weight. My husband and I are both doing it. There were a couple days at the beginning where we were hungry, but it was tolerable. Most of the meals are really fab and there’s a ton of room for flexibility, thank goodness, because a couple of the meals are… well… yuck. Personally, if I NEVER have goat cheese again it will be too soon. Blech.

We started on… ohhh.. I want to say something like January 7th. I’m now down to 182. That’s EIGHTEEN pounds, folks. I never, ever thought it would lose this weight. I’m still what I would consider “out of shape” because it’s hard to exercise when there’s an active anklebiter running around, but I do it when I can.

It feels good to finally be getting off my ass, so to speak. Here’s to another eighteen pounds.

New year, new beginnings, new procrastination

Well, only halfway through the month this time. I was actually thinking about waiting until the 31st so I’d have an entire month to put off from posting.

Yes, we’ve made some resolutions. Not many, and not ones like “I won’t procrastinate anymore” because everyone knows that resolutions like that are bullshit.

We’ve resolved to get out of debt (mostly, there’s pretty much no way to speed up the truck payment) by October. Definitely doable.
We’ve resolved to eat healthier, eat at home more, and work out more. So far we’ve successfully done this for 8 days. It’s a record, really, and I’m so proud of both of us that we haven’t broken, haven’t said “Oh fuck it, let’s just get Wendy’s”. I’ve made breakfast, lunch and dinner every day (except for today, when I didn’t want to get out of my warm bed and Mr. Hottie had to make his own damn frozen waffles), and it’s been really enjoyable. We’re getting a lot of use out of an electric grill we purchased earlier in the year. I’m so glad to be finally using this stuff instead of it sitting in the pantry collecting dust.

There are cravings, but they are manageable.

Little Man turned two a couple weeks ago. It’s hard to believe. Two already! He knows more signs than I can count off the top of my head, and is slowly learning more words. The other day I taught him how to say “Bilbo”, “Gandalf”, and “Mordor”. Every child should know these!

I got my 11-year-old daughter’s ears pierced as a Christmas present. I didn’t take her to a booth in the mall, oh no, I took her to a REAL piercing parlor, complete with giant needles and corks. She did fantastic, considering. My 8-year-old son declared he is NEVER getting his ears pierced. Never say never, kid. Anyway, my daughter picked out a really pretty blue optical cat’s eye type of bead to go on her hoops, and it really looked great. She’s growing up so damn fast!

My 8-year-old is starting to behave better now. This is a good thing, and I’m really proud of him. I just hope he continues on this good streak. Maybe we’re finally having an impact on his behavior. I hope so!

Math is starting to get interesting. While I’m not enjoying all aspects of it, I have noticed I’ve been having fun doing a couple things, and feel really good when I get a right answer without too much help. As time goes on, I expect to need less and less help. I’ll beat this thing down yet!

Then I’ll get to tackle javascript and a science project. Woo hoo!

Oh yeah, and I’ve lost 10 pounds already. 🙂